Death Eaters
by Nea Poulain
Summary: "What are we going to do? When we win the war. When we don't have more battles to fight, imagine. We're soldiers. We're Death Eaters."
1. War make us

**I. War make us**

 _"When I thought that I fought this war alone  
You were there by my side on the frontline"_

 _War, Poets of the fall_

* * *

"Still awake?"

"Maybe…"

"Bella…"

"What?"

"Turn around, I want to talk. Neither one of us is going to sleep tonight. And we are barely comfortable in this bed."

"I never thought I'd end up sleeping here again. Not married."

"At your parents' house. Are you sure they are okay with all this? With all of us here? Hiding Death Eaters from the aurors is a crime, I'm sure."

"They'd do anything for me. Deeply, they're proud."

"They didn't seem proud."

"They are just worried."

"They didn't seem _just_ worried."

"They aren't soldiers. They can't understand this; what we do."

"Bella…"

"What? Are you going to fight me? We're all wanted criminals. Our faces are in every street, every corner. Except Barty, of course. Fucking Barty still has an alibi."

"His father is going to be Ministry of Magic."

"Barty hates him".

"I know. Have you ever thought what is going to happen when we win the war?"

"You seem really sure we're going to win."

"We have to."

"Everything is against us, Rodolphus. Azkaban is full of Death Eaters now."

"The best reason to stay in hiding right now. But, Bella, for real, have you ever thought about what are we going to do when we win?"

"We're soldiers. There's always going to be a war to fight."

"And if there's no war?"

"No war? That's ridiculous. There's always people who want revolution, we'll always have someone to fight. I don't know."

"And if there's no war, Bella? How do you think that's going to be?"

"―"

"Bella, don't turn around."

"―"

"Bella, please. I really want to talk."

"I don't want to talk about that and, deeply, neither do you. You're just bringing up the topic to see if I'm as scared as you. I don't want the war to end, I need something to do and be a soldier is the best I do. Have you ever thought what's going to happen if we lose?"

"I don't want to."

"You should. It's going to be like now: always running away."

"It could be worse."

"Don't say it."

"It could be Azkaban, you know. For the rest of our lives, the two of us. Bella, have you thought about it? Like, seriously?"

"―"

"Bella, say something."

"Yes, the idea has crossed my mind! Happy? I'd do it for Him. And you? Would you do it?"

"Not for Him, not for the Dark Lord. I'd do it for you."

"What a romantic husband."

"I'm deadly serious."

"I insist: what a romantic husband."

"You know, I'm the romantic one in this marriage. But, seriously, what are we going to do? Because I'm doubting your mum's idea is the best: she wants grandchildren with Lestrange in their names."

"Narcissa is already going to give her a grandchild. She is pregnant. My mum can live without Lestrange grandchildren. Even tough―"

"What? What were you going to say?"

"Nothing."

"Of course you wanted to say something. You always want to say something."

"Your last name ends with you and Rabastan. If you care about that…"

"I have no interest in bringing more humans to this world."

"Your answers come out of your mouth very quickly."

"You don't want children, I don't want children; we're soldiers, Bella. Better than that: we're Death Eaters. Do you seriously believe I care about my last name? I wouldn't dare to ask you about having kids. Never."

"What a romantic."

"You know, that's me. Hey, are you smiling?"

"―"

"I love your smile, altough it makes you look like a crazy psycopath."

"Thank you, I guess."

"―"

"Rodolphus! My mum and dad are in the next room!"

"We're not twenty anymore: we're married, Mrs. Lestrange."

"Mrs. Lestrange makes me sound like… like if we had a normal and boring life. Like my parents'. Having kids and organising boring dinners, going to events with more pure bloods. Being normal. Boring."

"We will never be normal and boring."

"How are you so sure?"

"You know. We are Death Eaters. War made us."

* * *

 **Have you ever read The Kiss of the Spiderwoman, by Manuel Puig? It's an Argentinian novel and it's like this fanfiction: all dialogues, no description. That was the inspiration for the fic.**

 **My mother lenguaje is Spanish (Mexican Spanish), so if you found mistakes, feel free to tell me.**

* * *

 _Andrea Poulain_

 _Original: June 14th, 2016_

 _Translation: August 24th, 2016_


	2. A kind of hunger

**II. A kind of hunger**

 _"But the film is a saddening bore  
'Cause I wrote it ten times or more"_

 _Life on Mars?, David Bowie_

* * *

"Fuck, this is a shitty bedroom… And that poster of The Cursed Hippogriffs. Fuck. I hate their music."

"Go away, what the fuck are you doing here? Bellatrix's parents put you in the other room."

"It's scary. Did you know no one has touched her things since the day she left?"

"Not interested in that. Fuck off."

"Bellatrix don't mention her. Ever. She hates when someone talks about her."

"I'm not interested in this family's shit."

"This shit is good, you know? Her parents expected her to marry me, I don't know why; maybe because my brother married Bellatrix. The one that was interested was Dolohov. I think that idiot would have married with Andromeda. Good last name, good family, pure blood…

"I know the story."

"You haven't heard the complete versión. Bellatrix never tells everything, she only tells her sister betrayed her―and all her family. They got along really well before that, you know? The three of them."

"I know the fucking story, Rabastan. Are you drunk? Oh, no, no, don't sit in the bed, I know what's gonna happen―"

"Fuck off, Barty. Complain a little less."

"When you're drunk you fall asleep everywhere. I'm not planning to sleeping in the same bed as you."

"I'm not drunk."

"Your breath stinks like firewhisky."

"I haven't drunk enough to be really drunk. So, where was I? Oh, yes, they got along really well. Until Andromeda decided she was going to marry with… with… her husband. I don't remember the name."

"I'm not interested in that. If you need to talk with someone, tell the bed the story. I'm going to sleep."

"Fuck you, Barty. Well, I can cut it short. Bellatrix never forgive Andromeda because she ran away the same day of her wedding. Andromeda was her bridesmaid."

"I'm not interested, I've told you. And I doubt that you're here only to tell me a story of the Black Family."

"I can't sleep. Andromeda's room is to scary. Seems like no one wants to touch her stuff, find out who she really was―is."

"She betrayed the family."

"Yes, but… Doesn't matter. You wouldn't understand."

"What?"

"Bellatrix loves her… or loved her. I'm not so sure about it. Can yoy imagine what means to love and hate someone at the same time?"

"No."

"You're boring."

"I want to sleep, idiot. Fuck off."

"I don't want to."

"Don't be a kid, Rabastan. How old are you? Ten years more than me?

"Fuck, Barty."

"What?"

"I am… I dunno… Scared. I'm hiding in the house Bellatrix grew up and, honestly, is frightening as hell."

"I could be at home, sleeping in my bed."

"And?"

"It seemed bad to leave you, people. And I hate my house."

"And you don't hate Narcissa's bedroom? It's like a tenager still lived here. Look at the horrible posters, the colors."

"I don't care. Her teenager version looks happier than mine."

"Barty―"

"Fuck, what?"

"Can I sleep here?"

"Oh, fuck, yes, but be quiet."

"Is it necessary to say 'fuck' so many times?"

"You say 'fuck' more frequently than me, you can't complain."

"Barty, what if we get caught?"

"Don't think about nonsense right now."

"If the aurors caught us alive? What would you do?"

"I'm not the suicidal type, Rabastan."

"But the dementors…"

"I'm not going to Azkaban. We're going to win this damn war, even tough is the last thing we do. And then, we're going to clean the wizarding world, if we're still alive."

"I'm not the suicidal type, either."

"Rabastan, did you come to bother me just to talk?"

"―"

"Fuck, look at me. Don't tell me you're…"

"I'm not scared of Azkaban."

"Then?"

"I don't know."

"Fuck. Tell me more about the Black Family if you want. But don't start to think bullshit, I want to avoid mine."

"Tell me your shit, then."

"No."

"Barty…"

"There's nothing to tell. Nothing worth telling. A stupid authoritarian father who never bothered to know me, a stupid mother. We're material of a best-selling book. You can add my double life and you've got yourself the best-selling magical novel. See? Nothing to tell."

"Barty, I'm hungry."

"Cook something, then, I'm not your damn servant."

"Not that, it's…"

"What?"

"―"

"―"

"Fuck."

"You returned it. The kiss. I thought you only liked girls."

"I never said I liked only girls."

"Then?"

"―"

"Fuck."

"Just for tonight. Just because you're alone. Just because, fuck it. Just because I want, too."

"That never means 'just for tonight'. If you need to clear that up, then…"

"Fuck it, just kiss me again. I'm hungry, too."

* * *

 **My mother lenguaje is Spanish (Mexican Spanish), so if you found mistakes, feel free to tell me.**

* * *

 _Andrea Poulain_

 _Original: June 14th, 2016_

 _Translation: August 24th, 2016_


	3. You poison what you touch

**III. You poison what you touch**

 _"You've been acting awful tough lately  
Smoking a lot of cigarettes lately  
But inside, you're just a little baby"_

 _I Am Not A Robot, Marina & the Diamonds._

* * *

"Good morning. Your mum made me coffee… if this shit is coffee.

"Was she awake?"

"She was when I entered the kitchen. She left before that, but she told there were more coffee, if I wanted."

"Ah."

"You sleep well?"

"No, I can hear everything in this house, Barty. Everyone was aware Rabastan wasn't in the room my parents asigned him. I guess now they finally know why he didn't want to marry―"

"Who? You stopped, suddenly."

"Nobody. Nothing."

"As you wish. Do you want some coffee of you will star standing at the door all day? You and Rodolphus also had a very good night yesterday. Being fugitives make you guys horny or something?"

"I'm regretting coming here, Barty."

"You know me."

"I created you, partially. How the fuck can I not know you, kid?"

"You did a good job."

"You'd follow me to hell, I guess. You're still here, that should be a kind of test. I thought you were going to disappear the minute you saw my sister Narcissa's bedroom and her horrible musical posters.

"Oh, man, she's got bad taste."

"She always had it. Now she's married to an idiot with the Malfoy last name and she's a snob. That's a kind of bad test."

"You don't like your brother in law."

"I don't like men of his kind. They'd do everything to protect their freedom, you know? They aren't capable of anything. They're not like you, like me―like us. They'd sell us, if it was necessary."

"How are you so sure?"

"That kind of shit… you can smell it from very far away. You just have to look people directly into their eyes to find out if they're traitors. Maybe Lucius believe in our cause, maybe he thinks it's noble and right to do what we do―the shit the Malfoys like to believe. But die for it? Never."

"I wouldn't dare to hand anyone to the aurors. Note ven your brother in law. We don't do such things, right?"

"No. Right?"

"You seem doubtful."

"You poison what you touch, Barty. Having doubts with you… that's justified, man. You're like the plague."

"You created me."

"But everything I took, everything I used to make you was already inside. The murder instinct? That's all yours, dear. You poison whatever you touch; if it was for you, this world would be rotting. Remember the fires?"

"The first time we went out together."

"You were eighteen."

"Now I'm twenty-one."

"You've became into an assassin."

"You too."

"But I was a murdered before you appeared, boy."

"You enjoy killing like no one else."

"Maybe like you. Don't deny it. That look you use to stare at your victims, just when they are begging you… That way you have to feel the power. That's my doing; I taught you that. But you were already poison.

"I haven't poisoned y'all."

"―"

"That laugh is rotted, Bellatrix."

"It's because we were already rotted and poisoned in the inside. Our soul was in a million pieces."

"You're not going to tell you believe that stupidity, are you? For every murder, your soul breaks."

"You can choose not to believe it. What does you care about yours?"

"You're not going to tell me you care about your soul. It must be completely ruined. In the afterworld, you end up in hell, darling."

"And you're too sure there's no afterworld."

"The only thing that exists is here and now, Bella. Nothing else. We all are going to die and we're gonna end up in the same place."

"I believe your soul breaks, Barty. But it doesn't matter. I would break it a thousand times more for the Dark Lord."

"How altruistic. If I believed in that shit, I wouldn't care about the Dark Lord. I don't kill for him. I believe in him, yes, but killing… that's something intimate. You taught me there, remember? With a hand in my heart."

"Yes, I remember."

"You told me I had to feel it."

"Yes. What a good memory."

"I? Always. Since then I've felt it here, in my heart, every time I've killed someone."

"And what do you feel?"

"Rapture."

"Every psycomagician would kill for analyze you. To have a look at your brain."

"―"

"―"

"Hell, don't make me laugh."

"You know it's true. Even Reg was afraid of you."

"Was? I didn't knew we have started talking about him in the past tense."

"It's already been a year since he disappeared. No one knows where he is and no ona cares. He's better dead, I guess. _He is_ dead, I guess. I just hope he hadn't betrayed anyone."

"Would you like to know?"

"… No."

"You doubted."

"No, I don't want to know. A traitor in the family is enough. Reg had better died like the Death Eater he was."

"I'm sorry."

"It doesn't matter."

"I often ask myself if we are still human."

"We feel. That's make us human, right? Right?"

"Yes. Do you want a hug? Your face seems to need and… now you changed your face. You're scared of being percieved as vulnerable. I'm not going to tell anyone, it doesn't matter."

"Shut up. You poison everything in your hands."

"Not you, you were already poisoned."

"And proud of it, Barty."

"You sure you don't want this hug?"

* * *

 **The plague. Bellatrix and Regulus' relationship is purely friendship and nothing else. As always, Spanish is my mother tongue, blah blah blah.**

* * *

 _Andrea Poulain_

 _Original: June 15_ _th_ _, 2016_

 _Translation: March 1_ _st_ _, 2017._

 _#LoveIsLove_


	4. Do you imagine your death?

**IV. Do you imagine your death?**

 _"To die by your side  
Well, the pleasure_― _the privilege is mine"_

 _There Is A Light That Never Goes Out, The Smiths_

* * *

"We're alone again."

"Rabastan is still here. He's sleeping. He stole all the firewhisky in your father's minibar, I hope you don't mind."

"Damn drunk."

"Barty is gone, he said he has to go home before someone started asking where he was. He looked like he was going to Azkaban or something like that."

"That's his face every time he has to spend time with his parents."

"So much hate is not good for a family."

"Your parents are dead, Rodolphus. And mine are hiding us while que are in the running. But… what do you think Barty's father would do if he discovers his son is a Death Eater."

"―"

"Yes. That. Just the thing you didn't say."

"I hate doing nothing."

"Yesterday night you said we should keep a low profile and now you hate _doing nothing_."

"You like to fire things up and kill people. You attract attention to yourself."

"That's the point."

"We cannot attract attention! What if we get caught? We are near to the end of the war, I'm feeling it. And don't put that face. I know we are near the end and that we are the winners."

"If we get caught, he is going to let us out. I'm sure. I know he would do everything for us."

"Correction: he know you're capable of anything for him and that I would do whatever I gotta to for you. And that Rabastan and Barty would follow us directly to hell. Well, Barty would follow you. Yoy brought him in."

"I needed a partner."

"You had me."

"Oh, are you going to get jelous just now? Are you choosing to be what my mom calls a normal husband after all this time? I'm still asking myself what my mom considers normal. You're my husband, not the partner I needed. You don't feel the same when you kill."

"I kill and that's it."

"You don't play with your victims. He does."

"No more than the strictly necessary. Why lose my time with muggles and their damned kids? In the traitors? They deserve suffering, but yours, Bella… Oh, don't give that face! I'm just making a point."

"You think they deserve less? They cannot go lower. When the beg and they look into your eyes. You cannot go into more shit. That's the end."

"Everyone make a plea for someone's life. If they don't have anyone, they plea for them. It becomes boring with time."

"I didn't mean that."

"So, what?"

"When the beg you, Rodolphus. When you are the only person in the world that can give them what they want: dead. And you feel… I don't know. You feel something. Power."

"At the end you're the Holy Death. Don't fuck with me."

"Don't laugh. It makes sense to me, I swear."

"You like chaos."

"I never say I don't"

"The suffering, also."

"Yes."

"Who can like that? Killing. I can fight a war, but killing is a dirty job, Bella."

"It's an art."

"And you stand for it."

"Why not? I'm the best at it."

"In Hogwarts you though we would end up becoming Death Eaters? Answer sincerely."

"No. I never heard what he was planning, what he wanted, the world he wanted to build. But once I saw him and I heard him… I knew… I knew I'd do everything to get to that world. Even becoming a soldier and follow orders. Accept a mark and become it my ideology."

"I was with you. I saw your eyes, I already know that."

"That's why I hate being here, locked up, in my parent's house."

"We are going soon, you'll see. We'll go back home."

"I want to stop feeling useless. I want to do something. Win the war, finish the fucking Phoenix Order and all the aurors in front of us."

"You said yesterday that everyone is getting caught now."

"That's why I accept being locked up."

"Are you scared of dying?"

"Why the question?"

"Just because. We have to kill time if we're here."

"I… I don't know."

"Do you imagine your death?"

"I imagine it's going to fighting, I guess. I've always pictured in the muddle of a battle. It's not that I have too many options."

"So you don't expect peace, never. You are not hoping to find it."

"I don't want to find it, it's different. I'm not made for peace. I don't know what to do with it. I need to fight and, more than that, I need to take people's life. That sensation. I need to know I have that power. And your death? You imagine it?"

"I imagine it by your side. Fighting. Oh, damn, I hope it's by your side."

"How romantic."

"You know me."

"Yes, I know you. But I hate when you start to talk deep shit, you make me think stupid things I don't want to think."

"… I'm sorry."

"No, you're not really sorry. But I don't want to talk anymore and we need to kill time, you want to go back to my teenage room?

"―"

"I figured you'd want."

* * *

 **Death Eaters being human. Wow. It's complicated. Because I don't want you to have pity for them.** **They're assholes even though they're vulnerable but they're also human and they have friends and relationships and that kind of stuff. I hope you liked this… thing.**

* * *

 _Andrea Poulain_

 _Original: June 15_ _th_ _, 2016_

 _Translation: March 30_ _st_ _, 2017._

 _#LoveIsLove_


End file.
